Congratulations! But don't get all superior, because various studies suggest that anywhere between 50 and 99 percent of men watch porn. Or maybe, if he does, all your Charles needs as an erotic aide is a photograph of you guys feeding each other cake on your wedding day. Maybe he doesn't indulge in the fetid pleasures of the self at all. Maybe your Charles doesn't watch pornography. Not my Jason! Not my Brian! My Charles doesn't watch that filthy stuff! And maybe you're right. And I would make the argument that 1) your husband probably watches porn and 2) it doesn't mean he's a perverted freak. The reach and breadth and extraordinary ease of consuming pornography is so massive, it penetrates every tiny corpuscle of our media-saturated lives (last time I use the word penetrate, promise!). The fact that we felt perfectly safe joking about it anyway just proves how pervasive this stuff is. Max and I are both happily married, monogamous men who had never talked about porn before. If you're also like, " Ew?" Well, yeah, ew. (And yeah, that's why I'm anonymous here too.) I wrote, "Want to come over tomorrow night and watch the Mets game?" Max responded, "No, can't, in Chicago for business." And I replied, "Okay, have fun in your dimly lit hotel room with a hot laptop in your lap watching YouPorn." And Max texted back, "Um, that's literally what I'm doing right now." And I texted back, "Ew." Max is a fake name, which I'm using because what Max and I were texting about was porn. The other day I was texting with my friend Max.
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